Looking ahead

I’ve written recently of leaving my current employer, which won’t happen until August, but which emotionally has already begun taking place; I’ve also mentioned I intend to go into education, as serious and important profession as any of which I can think.

I haven’t said enough about what I think of education. The truth is, I’m a little afraid. I’m confident that I have the knowledge, but I worry about imparting it effectively. I want to be a good teacher; a teacher who makes students better after they leave his classroom. I want students to leave my class and be better people — and not just because they’ve gained some knowledge — but because they’ve learned something about themselves.

Last night, as I sat in a McDonald’s restaurant after covering a school board meeting, but prior to returning to the newsroom to write my story, I imagined how I would start off my first lesson on my first day of school. That seems to me to be a big day — the jumping off point.

It is my plan to be very honest with my students. I’ll declare my intentions on that day. “In this class, you’re going to learn something.”

“Grades will not play a central role in my classroom, rather learning will, and you will come out of my classroom knowing something about the English language, and hopefully yourself.”

I plan to explain to them: “Most of the problems people encounter in life come about because they don’t understand themselves or they don’t understand the world. If you can communicate effectively, you can go a long way toward improving yourself in both instances.”

“This may seem like a bullshit class to you, first period or whatever, and it can be that — but it doesn’t have to be. This is the class that unlocks some of the greatest minds (writers) in the history of the world, if you don’t consider yourself too important for their time or their craft.”

“Now take out a piece of paper and write 200 words explaining why something (a noun) interests you.”

Remembering how to love yourself

Now that I have an escape option from my current employer I am feeling so much happier.

This happiness was written all over my face while my car hurtled down a hill and around a curve on my return to the newsroom tonight. After several long, public meetings, my newfound sense of freedom was nearly overwhelming as I drove. I turned my radio up super loud, took the turns sharp and bought into the rhythm of several classic rock songs.

The knowledge I’m not going to be a reporter for too much longer has given me a renewed excitement about doing my job well. This enthusiasm has carried over to nearly every aspect of my job.

Tonight I didn’t even rush out of the newsroom — like I have so many times. I stayed long enough to really add something to my stories. It felt good. It’s what a journalist is supposed to do.

It isn’t that I haven’t done these things in the past, but I didn’t do them because I felt excitement about producing a quality story — I did them because I knew I was supposed to. This is something that hasn’t happened since I wrote opinion columns in college. Knowing that I won’t have the opportunity to be a reporter forever has driven me to find the real silver lining.

I’m going to try and retain this enthusiasm through August; although I expect it will eb and flow with time. Right now, though, I’m going to bask in it and make the most of what’s in front of me.

Starting over

I’ve sent my college transcript to my state’s department of education, where it will be evaluated to see how it stacks up against the requirements to be an integrated language arts teacher.

The best case scenario is I’ll only have to take two education courses, pass the Praxis II test and submit an FBI background check before I’ll be qualified to apply for teaching positions.

I’m not sure it will go that smooth — in fact it likely won’t. It may be the case that I have to take more classes to qualify. It may also be the case that my university may require me to jump through hoops to be admitted into the school of education, for instance, taking the Praxis I exam or taking more classes.

For the first couple of days after my decision I was worried about these hang-ups. But, as I think about my current employer and about the status of the news industry right now, I realize it would be a good decision to push ahead and become a teacher no matter what the trouble.

As I’ve written about previously, It makes me a little sad to leave journalism behind. I’ve never really thought about what makes me like journalism, rather I’ve put most of my energy into thinking about what I dislike about the field. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising then that I’ve decided to take a new course.

I never really throught about what I’d do if journalism didn’t work out. It’s another one of those really obvious things that a person should consider. Running into about 10 of those things in the last six months has been a pretty humbling experience.

The countdown to August begins.

I’ve decided to leave journalism — at least professionally. It’s odd to me that I care so much about leaving a field that has mostly left me unfulfilled and frustrated. But I do.

It was what I chose when I entered college — the kid whose highest ACT score was in reading and lowest was in English; the kid who didn’t put any thought into the university or major he picked but knew he loved, loved the news.

I never felt at home making the product, despite loving to consume it. I never could reconcile my passionate, deep interest in conservatism as a government and life philosophy with the industry full of left-wingers and intellectually insincere myopics who clamor against “bias” but spew it with every keystroke.

In the time I have left in the field that I have spent the last five years learning about I plan to do the best job I can. I want to produce reports I can be proud of, even with the difficulties of working in a severely underfunded newsroom with a short-sighted, arrogant, unnewsy managing editor and an unconscionable policy of two bylines a day.

I’ll be there, plugging away, waiting for August.