The Money’s In

One of the biggest hurdles in my quest to become a teacher was met and jumped today when I received my financial aid award letter in the mail. Thankfully, I’ll be able to borrow everything I need.

The college made it clear that if I hadn’t paid or made arrangements by Aug. 1 that I would be removed from classes. I was afraid I’d have to drive up to the campus and give the school cash — like I had to do with my summer class.

Later, after my summer class was nearly over, I found out anyone receiving federal financial aid must be at least a part-time student. Basically, it meant I would not be receiving a refund of my $1,159.00 cash from which I wasn’t prepared to part.  Surprise!

Not wanting another surprise, the award letter was wonderful news. It also means I’ll have more free money to pursue the purchase of a better automobile, which is my next major task.

Good Times are Here Again

In the time since I’ve last posted a lot of good things have happened to me. During the last two months I’ve made significant progress toward becoming an English teacher, something that prior to May,  I couldn’t have believed was actually possible.

Thoughout June and July I took a literature class on the Victorian and Romantic Periods, mostly studying poetry.  It wasn’t the most interesting reading and some of it was pretty hard to wade through. But, I’m better for having taken the course.  It was one of the two literature classes I need to become a licensed teacher. Overall, I need four classes, the other two being educational psychology and teaching methods.

Within the last week, I contacted my county’s educational service center and was given an appointment to have my BCI/FBI background check completed. This is another major requirement I need to complete to become a teacher.

Also, I’ve been admitted into an online teacher certification program. Even better, my advisor is allowing me to take the methods course I need early on (in the second set of classes)  so I can become certified with the state sooner.

He didn’t allow this without some caution and at least three separate specific points: you may not be prepared, you may not be able to take all your classes in order, you will struggle to get all your classroom observation completed.  I assured him that I would manage all these things and pointedly kept up my insistence on taking the class. He relented, thankfully. It’s something I truly appreciate.

In addition, in late August I will attend a seminar that will allow me to become an officially licensed substitute teacher, which I plan to do while taking evening courses until I am fully licensed. In essence, I’m hoping this can become like a part-time job.

This is all just so much progress it’s hard to imagine it’s actually taking place. The first part of 2009 was so awful, I drastically lowered my expectations on the potentially good things that would happpen for me.

Whatever annoyances may come with owning a failing car, dealing with bureaucracies from two separate universities, financial aide and several portions of the state government, things are significantly better than they previously were.

Split-second conclusion

The complete unexpected has happened.

On Sunday my boss left a note on my desk, highlighted and underlined, to meet with his boss at 1 p.m. Monday. His note said his boss did not elaborate why and he asked me to leave him a note acknowleding I received his note.

I did so, wondering the whole time whether I’d done something wrong. Was it the personal web surfing? Was it the uncashed mileage checks? Was it my lack of scheduling any vacation days? Or, was it something else.

When I got to work around 12:30 p.m. Monday my boss asked me how I was doing. But, once I responded, he failed to make eye contact, turned his back on me and went to his office, sometime he almost never goes.

He moped for another half-hour, because saying, “You’re ready to meet with Beth?”

I responded affirmatively, picked up a reporters notebook and pen and walked into her office. My boss trailed behind me.

Beth told me how wonderful of a job I’ve been doing, how she’s received positive comments from people in the community about, how my attendance was good and, ultimately, how she sorry but my position was being eliminated.

She gave me information on how to sign up for unemployment and cobra and Cobra. I couldn’t help but thing I was getting the better end of the deal.

After all my complaining about my former employer my tenure there ended suddenly and with remarkably little drama.

Not all hope is lost

My quest to become a teacher may not be a lost hope after all.

After a board of education meeting Thursday evening, an elementary school principal asked me about my progress on obtaining certification. After I explained the road blocks, she mentioned a university in southern California that offers the class I need, online. It may or may not be accredited with my state department of education, and I’m still checking on that.

Regardless, I’m very excited. Just the possibility of being able to obtain certification has given me a major mood improvement.

Career-fair etiquette

Last week I made the trek back to my alma mater for a career fair. It involved waking up much, much too early for my p.m. lifestyle and driving an hour to the campus.

I parked my car at Michelle’s apartment complex and she was nice enough to drive me to campus, after a quick stop at Arby’s since we were both starving.

At the career fair, I handed out about 15 resumes, mostly to recruiters who were interested in would-be salesmen and management trainees. The recruiters were all polite and enthusiastic but none of them have called, except for representatives from the one company in which I didn’t have much interest.

I didn’t call them back, although If I had known it would be the only employer to call, I would have. I guess that’s how it goes, though.

Once I realized most of the recruiters were looking to fill management roles, I highlighted all the leadership positions I held throughout college, especially what I did with student government. They seemed impressed. But, I guess, not impressed enough. Maybe the recruiters thought I came off as arrogant? Who knows. I haven’t mastered the career-fair etiquette, probably.

The countdown halted

For the longest time I’ve been planning on leaving my current employer in August. I’ve dreamed about leaving. I’ve yearned to leave. But, now it doesn’t look like it can happen.

I picked August because I thought I would be going back to school and naturally classes would be starting in very late August. Since it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen and since it doesn’t appear as though I’m moving toward anything, I don’t have anything to leave for. (Although I certainly have motivation.)

If the economy were better, I think I’d quit and begin job hunting full time. However, in today’s economy, I’m afraid that I would have a pretty difficult time finding a job, especially since my main method of searching involves online job search engines like Monster.com.

If I just had a good opportunity I would make the most of it. Ever since graduating, It has been pretty gloomy for me, definitely one of the most challenging periods of my life. I can’t remember any time during the last decade when I’ve been more unsatisfied with my life. It’s not as if I haven’t tried to improve things, I just haven’t had any luck.

My whole life I’ve always believed that if I worked hard enough I could turn anything around and make it positive. I hope that is infact true. I’m really beginning to wonder.

Another fscking disappointment

It looks like becoming a teacher may be impossible, at least in the short term. I got my transcript evaluation back from the State Department of Education and it said I needed two literature classes a teaching methods course and an educational psychology course.

Getting into three of classes is no problem, but the fourth, teaching methods, is something none of the local universities are willing to let me take without re-enrolling as an education major and taking several semesters of prerequisites. My alma mater wanted me to take two semesters of undergraduate coursework and then enroll in an 11-month masters program.

I would really like to take the masters route, if only I could afford it. I can’t. As for the undergraduate option, if I can’t take the necessary course without taking too many prerequisites, then it becomes impossible too.

Ever since graduating pretty much every fucking thing has gone wrong. So, it really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise this didn’t work out.

I just wish I wasn’t stuck at a job I hate with co-workers I can barely stand at a wage for high schoolers.

Looking ahead

I’ve written recently of leaving my current employer, which won’t happen until August, but which emotionally has already begun taking place; I’ve also mentioned I intend to go into education, as serious and important profession as any of which I can think.

I haven’t said enough about what I think of education. The truth is, I’m a little afraid. I’m confident that I have the knowledge, but I worry about imparting it effectively. I want to be a good teacher; a teacher who makes students better after they leave his classroom. I want students to leave my class and be better people — and not just because they’ve gained some knowledge — but because they’ve learned something about themselves.

Last night, as I sat in a McDonald’s restaurant after covering a school board meeting, but prior to returning to the newsroom to write my story, I imagined how I would start off my first lesson on my first day of school. That seems to me to be a big day — the jumping off point.

It is my plan to be very honest with my students. I’ll declare my intentions on that day. “In this class, you’re going to learn something.”

“Grades will not play a central role in my classroom, rather learning will, and you will come out of my classroom knowing something about the English language, and hopefully yourself.”

I plan to explain to them: “Most of the problems people encounter in life come about because they don’t understand themselves or they don’t understand the world. If you can communicate effectively, you can go a long way toward improving yourself in both instances.”

“This may seem like a bullshit class to you, first period or whatever, and it can be that — but it doesn’t have to be. This is the class that unlocks some of the greatest minds (writers) in the history of the world, if you don’t consider yourself too important for their time or their craft.”

“Now take out a piece of paper and write 200 words explaining why something (a noun) interests you.”

Remembering how to love yourself

Now that I have an escape option from my current employer I am feeling so much happier.

This happiness was written all over my face while my car hurtled down a hill and around a curve on my return to the newsroom tonight. After several long, public meetings, my newfound sense of freedom was nearly overwhelming as I drove. I turned my radio up super loud, took the turns sharp and bought into the rhythm of several classic rock songs.

The knowledge I’m not going to be a reporter for too much longer has given me a renewed excitement about doing my job well. This enthusiasm has carried over to nearly every aspect of my job.

Tonight I didn’t even rush out of the newsroom — like I have so many times. I stayed long enough to really add something to my stories. It felt good. It’s what a journalist is supposed to do.

It isn’t that I haven’t done these things in the past, but I didn’t do them because I felt excitement about producing a quality story — I did them because I knew I was supposed to. This is something that hasn’t happened since I wrote opinion columns in college. Knowing that I won’t have the opportunity to be a reporter forever has driven me to find the real silver lining.

I’m going to try and retain this enthusiasm through August; although I expect it will eb and flow with time. Right now, though, I’m going to bask in it and make the most of what’s in front of me.

Starting over

I’ve sent my college transcript to my state’s department of education, where it will be evaluated to see how it stacks up against the requirements to be an integrated language arts teacher.

The best case scenario is I’ll only have to take two education courses, pass the Praxis II test and submit an FBI background check before I’ll be qualified to apply for teaching positions.

I’m not sure it will go that smooth — in fact it likely won’t. It may be the case that I have to take more classes to qualify. It may also be the case that my university may require me to jump through hoops to be admitted into the school of education, for instance, taking the Praxis I exam or taking more classes.

For the first couple of days after my decision I was worried about these hang-ups. But, as I think about my current employer and about the status of the news industry right now, I realize it would be a good decision to push ahead and become a teacher no matter what the trouble.

As I’ve written about previously, It makes me a little sad to leave journalism behind. I’ve never really thought about what makes me like journalism, rather I’ve put most of my energy into thinking about what I dislike about the field. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising then that I’ve decided to take a new course.

I never really throught about what I’d do if journalism didn’t work out. It’s another one of those really obvious things that a person should consider. Running into about 10 of those things in the last six months has been a pretty humbling experience.