The countdown halted

For the longest time I’ve been planning on leaving my current employer in August. I’ve dreamed about leaving. I’ve yearned to leave. But, now it doesn’t look like it can happen.

I picked August because I thought I would be going back to school and naturally classes would be starting in very late August. Since it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen and since it doesn’t appear as though I’m moving toward anything, I don’t have anything to leave for. (Although I certainly have motivation.)

If the economy were better, I think I’d quit and begin job hunting full time. However, in today’s economy, I’m afraid that I would have a pretty difficult time finding a job, especially since my main method of searching involves online job search engines like Monster.com.

If I just had a good opportunity I would make the most of it. Ever since graduating, It has been pretty gloomy for me, definitely one of the most challenging periods of my life. I can’t remember any time during the last decade when I’ve been more unsatisfied with my life. It’s not as if I haven’t tried to improve things, I just haven’t had any luck.

My whole life I’ve always believed that if I worked hard enough I could turn anything around and make it positive. I hope that is infact true. I’m really beginning to wonder.